KKK Warns: White People Must 'Start Banging'

Fresh from the Laundromat, the Great Grand Cleagle Poobah of the KKK, wearing sparkling new 250 thread count linens, warned white people that they “must start banging.”

The Cleagle Head Muckedy Muck explained that traditionally white countries such as France, the US, and Disneyworld are in danger of being overrun by “Sp-cs, K--ns, K-kes, and Naaaayyyyggrrs.” He explained, “Them people is breedin’ like bunnies. And, if we ain’t prepared to sterilize ‘em, we got to get to work.”

He suggested non-stop sex “’till the job is done.” Kingfish Poobah Cleagle explained that according to KKK math, each white couple must have 32 children to compensate for the high birth rates of minorities. “We are in a state of emergency. That means if it takes a Barry White record to get white people in the mood, we are prepared to look the other way,” resolved Mr, KKKleagle. He continued, “We will draw the line at Usher and the brown naked one with the Band-Aid…or is it Cool Aid?” The room full of stunned reporters stood silent as Chief Rakkkoon laughed himself silly, slapping his right knee repeatedly.

When he regained composure, the Kooky Krusader admitted that his previous ‘If It’s Real Brown, Put It Down’ campaign has been a colossal failure. He blamed “bad PR” and a lack of funds to promote genocide properly. “Do you know an ad in Maxim costs like $3,000?!” he added.

The Rambunctious Racist then raised the stakes with a challenge, “I'll personally bang each and every white woman I can, don't care how hideous. If she’s got one tooth and a wet spot, that’s good enough for me. And it should be for you!” He concluded with a slightly modified version of the traditional KKK battle cry, “Lube up, white people!”